Take the Stares : October 2015

Today on the blog, I want to do things a little differently. There's been a lot on my mind lately in regards to what I am learning about life, and I'd like to share a few of those thoughts with you guys. Today on The Stares, I speak on the concept of reality.

For as long as I can remember, my head has always been in the clouds. Always. My parents would constantly say "Are you listening, Jessica? Come back to reality for two seconds, please."And I can remember it making me feel like whatever I was giving attention to in those clouds was not as important next to whatever was directly in front of me at the moment. I wanted to say "Oh, but only if you could see my dreams and imagination, Mom and Dad. You may not want to come down either."

Reality, defined, is the world or state of things as they actually exists. The things we see and experience is what is considered to be reality. So since people do not see and experience the same things where life is concerned, doesn't that make reality subjective from individual to individual versus the said "same" concept we are all believed to live under?

Let me put it like this. A girl who grows up in the city and a girl who grows up in the country do not share the same reality. A boy who grew up with both parents does not share the same reality as the boy who only grew up with one. Someone who grows up listening to hip-hop music does not share the same reality as someone who grew up listening to country music. The child who drops his ice cream cone and becomes sad does not share the reality with the child who consumed his entire ice cream cone and is experiencing contentment. Simple experiences such as these often build the foundation of a person and who they are (minus the ice cream cone fiasco). If we are all not built out of the same experiences, then it is not possible for any one person to view life completely the same. Therefore, there is no such thing as "one reality".

I think that once we come to learn the nature of multiple realities, we can be more understanding of people. A person who is angry all the time may be experiencing a reality of deeply rooted hurt and pain, but we would never know because we do not share this reality with him. A person who finds happiness in drugs and alcohol may be using substances as a coping mechanism from a terrible reality of seeing thing he wished he hadn't, but we could never truly understand his horrors because, again, that is his reality. We can also be more understanding of how ignorance comes to be. Ignorance is natural because we can't possibly experience the reality of every person, society, country, cultural group in the world. It only becomes a problem when we fail to try and eliminate that ignorance.

With that being said, why do we judge people on how they choose to live their lives? Because their reality does not sync with our own, and what we know? It's easy to judge celebrities because the expectations that they are held by society of having their lives projected onto others is a mentality/reality the majority of us could not fathom. It's easy to judge a friend who is in tumultuous relationship because we only see the exterior of that relationship versus the interior of all the mental and emotional factors that play into her reality. My reality has caused me not to hold certain values that you hold, and vice versa. My reality verses your reality is why I may see qualities in a individual that I find special, while you may not be able to stand the very idea of that person. That doesn't make my reality no better or no more inferior than your reality, or a wealthy man's reality, or a poor man's reality. There's no such thing as a right or wrong reality. Life is puts us all on the same boat, no matter the path we choose to take.

I am seeing now what holds true for a lot of people is that just because reality is what's in front of us and familiar, doesn't mean we have to like or accept it. That's why people escape when they can. But the beautiful thing about life is, we hold control over our own realities, but only after we realize that is malleable and we have the ability to make it as beautiful as we so choose. I think that my dreams have always been my reality. And because dreams are guided by the heart, I am surrounded by them constantly. I've known no other reality outside of my dreams, and I'm okay with that. Yea. My dreams are my reality.

Learn reality. Respect yours and others realities. And make it your BUSINESS to follow your dreams.

Goodbye.

Hat - by Divided by H&M (Plato's Closet)
Cardigan - by (America's Thrift Store)
Crop top - by Forever 21(Forever 21)
Jeans - by Forever 21(Forever 21)
Boots - by Nine West (America's Thrift Store)
Purse - by Coach (given)
Sunglasses - (Iguana - Hollywood, CA)
Choker - (Dynamite Boutique)

Photography by Jazmyn Wormley

Bringing you big hats and even bigger pants on the blog today.

Just as a fair warning. A majority of my up and coming blog posts are going to involve hats (especially black ones). There's just no way around it. I'm addicted to hats, okay? And my addiction has rendered me helpless to my love of hats. So if you don't like hats, then I suggest you stay away from the blog for the next few weeks.

I love love love love sleeveless turtlenecks. The last time I was at the store, I almost bought one is three different colors. But alas...I restrained myself. I love this one because the angora rabbit hair it's composed of makes it a really soft wear!

There goes that song in my head again, going off without warning.

I think any petite woman like myself would be nervous before buying a pair of pants like this. Just for the simple fact that before I even put heels on, the hems were dragging in all kinds of different directions on the ground. But after the heels were on, my worries (and hemlines) were lifted.

My mind was blown when I bought these pants because they are a pair of true vintage wide legged flares from the 70's! The owner of the shop sells a lot of her old clothes she wore as a young adult in the store, and these were one of her favorite pair of pants she wore during her youth. It was definitely worth the buy.